Deceptive Wilting: How God Smashes Idols and Brings New Life

What we see is never the whole story. That’s true for the people we meet, the news articles we read, and the social media profiles we scroll through. It’s even true for the beautiful plant I intentionally let die a couple years ago. The lesson I learned from my little plant has perhaps never been so widely applicable as in this season of fear, boredom, and quarantine.

An Almost Green Thumb

Growing up, springtime meant fuchsias. Fred Meyer’s garden department had an annual fuchsia day. There were countless varieties of fuchsia starts to choose from. If you bought a pot or hanging basket, they would fill it with soil and plant your new starts for you as you left the store. Mom would put four or five starts in as many hanging baskets as she could fit on our back deck. Before long, we were surrounded by the pink and purple blooms. Blossoms erupted everywhere.

Though I grew up watching Mom diligently tend her hanging garden, I was never able to internalize how to do it myself. Sadly, any plant that comes into my home might as well come with an expiration date. When it comes to keeping things alive, I’m much better at things that can audibly communicate their needs. As annoying as the constant, “Mom! I’m hungry,” can be, it’s much more effective than silently sitting on a window sill.

One day at the grocery store, a little fuchsia caught my eye. It was on clearance but looked relatively healthy. Nostalgia got the better of me. I brought it home and hung it outside, committing myself to its care. Amazingly, it began to thrive. As time passed, it grew and developed many bulbous buds. I felt such a lovely sense of ownership over it. My little clearance fuchsia was blooming!

As I went to water it one fateful day, a small junco bird darted out of the branches. She startled me. I laughed and carried on. But when she was there again the next time, I realized there was cause for concern. One peek between the branches confirmed my suspicion. Of all the cozy places in the woods surrounding my house, she chose my thriving clearance fuchsia to build a nest and raise her babies. In fact, she had already laid four tiny eggs.

You can likely imagine the deep inner conflict which ensued. My first successful attempt at mothering a plant was now at odds with a little bird mothering her eggs. A couple times, I tried watering around her nest, but was too worried about giving the eggs a chill. There was only one way forward—sacrifice my fuchsia. Since I didn’t want to risk moving it, it hung in front of my living room window for the rest of the summer. Each day the leaves lost a little more color, and the flowers turned a little drier. My clearance fuchsia shriveled on display for all to see.

A Deeper Meaning

Watching my plant wilt was painful. Even more painful was the poignant way it mirrored what was happening in the rest of my life. You see, I had been pouring myself into all the things that mattered most to me, only to watch them shrivel before my eyes. Just when everything seemed set up for success, like I could finally expect those proverbial blooms, it all dried up.

The most surprising part was the filth that came out of my heart. My failures seemed to make a direct channel for anger and anxiety to explode right out of me, showering down all over those I loved. Like my plant, my own shriveled heart was on display for all to see. It was ugly. Even scary.

Yet there was a much deeper reality in the parable of my fuchsia. There was a life-giving reason for this plant to die. Four, actually. Four little baby birds with songs to offer the world. Could it be the same for me? Could it be that, while all I could see was ugly wilting, God was working to bring life? Perhaps that channel of failure didn’t just allow the sin to come out, it allowed mercy to pour down.

Turning Point

One afternoon, when all of my efforts to fix everything had turned up dry, I sat lamenting to the Lord about my weakness. Where was the perfect strength He had promised? What about the more-than-conquering life laid out in His Word? He cut through my near-sighted questions with a question of His own: Would you rather be strong enough to gain what you’ve set your heart on, or weak enough to gain Me?

Never play Would You Rather with Jesus unless you want your dearest idols exposed. That afternoon, I could not answer His question the way I knew I should. I wanted to want Him more than getting an A+ at life. But I hated failure. Weakness felt like my enemy. More than that, I loved the carefully curated image of myself I had built up in my mind. I loved it so much that I couldn’t topple it on my own. So, in great mercy, He did.

When the Spirit begins to topple your idols, it feels like death. But this death is life-giving. There can be great carnage, much shriveling and wilting, but also life and freedom taking root. In this season, I began to value the gospel like never before. I was confronted anew by the depth of my need for a Savior. He captivated me with the beauty of His limitless mercy and unchanging grace. Slowly but surely He worked to revive my heart and nurture in me a fresh perspective. And do you know what I gained during this season of inner growth masked by outward wilting? I gained Him—Jesus, the great I AM. He gave Himself to me in such a profound way, that by the end of it, I could finally say that being weak was worth it.

An Uncomfortable Invitation

As COVID-19 wrecks havoc on our globe, perhaps you are finding areas of shriveling and wilting in your own life. Fear and isolation have blindsided us. Perhaps you are lonely and afraid, maybe bored. Perhaps days on end either alone or without a break from your loved ones has pushed you to the breaking point. Perhaps financial strain and uncertainty is consuming your thoughts. In the middle of it all, if we could quiet the swirl in our minds, we would hear His invitation.

He wants to give us Himself.

What is standing in the way? What is the thing you are clutching for dear life? Are you willing to allow Him to do some idol smashing? It will feel like death and look like withering. It might even be on display for all to see. But underneath, life and freedom will take root. In the end, He is worth it. More than worth it.

Remember that would-you-rather question the Holy Spirit posed to my heart? I wonder if He might be whispering a similar one to you. What are you at risk of losing right now? Your freedom and routine? Your sense of control? Your job? Your nest egg and retirement plans? Your graduation ceremony? Your loved one? Your own life?

There is only one way to find out, and it is not by reading this post.

Verses to Fuel Your Conversation with Him

Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! -Psalm 139:23-24

For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? -Matthew 16:26

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. -Galatians 1:10

No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money. -Matthew 6:24

Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord? Who may stand in his holy place? The one who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not trust in an idol or swear by a false god. -Psalm 24:3-4 (NIV)

He is ready for you.